My mother would often say, “I said to myself…” I now understand that this was her way of communicating that she had talked an idea over with the God of her creation, and whatever immediately followed that statement was the sentiment, lesson, solution, answer and or next step that they had agreed up. So in keeping with that tradition of sorts; “This morning, I said to myself…”
If only I had a dollar for every time that I thought or said; “If only…” I would be even more prosperous than I am in this moment. The words if only became my anchor to the past upon which I looked back from the present moment. I don’t want to spend another moment looking back at things I cannot change, looking for people who left me behind or waiting for invitation to sit at a table that is willing to profit from my creativity, even though I have to bring my own chair to a space where someone else’s fear of change renders me silent. If only…
My greatest wish in all of my if only… moments was for more time. I realize as this thought lands upon my heart that my wish was granted so long ago. Having more time is not a way back then or past tense experience, more time is my right now reality. I have more time to spend in the arms of the one who sees my soul and is honored. I have more time to dream out loud for the sake of others. I have more time to work smarter, play harder and honor those who make room for and support me in making room for others.
Today, I am free from looking back to the past when the present moment is greeting me with arms wide open. If only, I can always remember my Truth. After all, our individual Truths have been with us all the days of our lives.
Excepted from; The Sunday Morning Vibe Collection I Said to Myself, by the Reverend Kathy Beasley